Monday, November 27, 2006


Term
-Beliefs & Expectations
我們對每個目標都存在有期望跟一個信仰,相信我們自己能夠去達到我們所預期或不能達到此所預期

-Performance
實際做的成果,一個事實

-Motivation & Consistency
介於自己預期跟實際的表現是什麼呢? 需要的是動機(motivation),一個讓你去執行的動機 接下來執行的時候,會去評估Internal(你所想的)跟external(外在的事物)的一致性(consitency)

-Interpretation
自己對實際成果的解釋,一個內心的dialogue,一個內化的動作
形成合理的解釋有兩個動作
objective :對實際結果這個物件的解釋
subective:你的信仰哲學對這個物件的解釋,這個解釋將修正我們的信仰哲學跟預期

Example
我們可以舉兩個例子(Pessimistic v.s. Optimistic)來說明這個Model,假設這兩個例子都有同樣的目標(goal)
目標:2007年要賺100萬台幣淨收入

Pessimistic
-Beliefs & Expectations:我覺得可能做不到我設定的目標
-Motivation & Consistency: 由於我認為我可能做不到,所以我的動機顯得不是那麼的積極,在評估外部的狀況時會尤其留意負面的壞消息導致你的motivation薄弱
-Performance:2007年只賺10萬淨收入
-Interpreation
Objective:這個事實告訴我,果真如我相信的,我真的辦不到
Subjective:算了,我辦不到

Optimistic
-Beliefs & Expectations:我很有信心我可以做得到
-Motivation & Consistency: 我有很強的動機想要達成這個目標,因此我開始評估整個實施的可能性
-Performance:2007年只賺10萬淨收入
-Interpreation
Objective:為什麼會失敗,我要從那邊改進
Subjective:恩,可能目標設太高了,如果設一年目標淨收入70萬,經過上次的經驗的改進,我一定可以達到

由上面這兩個例子,可以發現

1.相同的目標跟結果,但是卻有對該事件不同的解釋,這將促使這兩類人後續做的決定都不同
樂觀(optimistic)的人可以為他的生活給予一個正向循環,悲觀的人則否

2. "Get Real"可以在這討論
樂觀的人雖然有時他的目標設定過高,但由於樂觀的人具有高度的信仰,高度的動機,會一直對現實做修正,最後會修正到信仰跟事實是相等的
悲觀的人因為常常得不到很適當的修正導致他們經常只有一次循環就放棄了

3.我們失敗的次數可能不夠多,悲觀跟樂觀的人對失敗的詮釋,也很不同
樂觀的人往往不在意的失敗的次數,他在意的是每次失敗的修正是否能夠達到他的預期
悲觀的人不願意一直嘗試失敗,導致他的人生常常沒辦法達到他的預期,因為如此,機會常常因此從自己的身邊留了過去

learn to fail; fail to learn

4.Interpretation這個動作在我們生活中起了很大的作用,做正面的解釋跟負面的解釋決定全都在我們身上

THE GOAL Team

Sunday, November 26, 2006

Sunday, November 12, 2006

Happiness

Give yourself permission to be human. When we accept emotions -- such as fear, sadness, or anxiety -- as natural, we are more likely to overcome them. Rejecting our emotions, positive or negative, leads to frustration and unhappiness.

Happiness lies at the intersection between pleasure and meaning. Whether at work or at home, the goal is to engage in activities that are both personally significant and enjoyable. When this is not feasible, make sure you have happiness boosters, moments throughout the week that provide you with both pleasure and meaning.

Keep in mind that happiness is mostly dependent on our state of mind, not on our status or the state of our bank account. Barring extreme circumstances, our level of well being is determined by what we choose to focus on (the full or the empty part of the glass) and by our interpretation of external events. For example, do we view failure as catastrophic, or do we see it as a learning opportunity?

Simplify! We are, generally, too busy, trying to squeeze in more and more activities into less and less time. Quantity influences quality, and we compromise on our happiness by trying to do too much.

Remember the mind-body connection. What we do -- or don't do -- with our bodies influences our mind. Regular exercise, adequate sleep, and healthy eating habits lead to both physical and mental health.

Express gratitude, whenever possible. We too often take our lives for granted. Learn to appreciate and savor the wonderful things in life, from people to food, from nature to a smile.

SOURCE: Tal D. Ben-Shahar

Wednesday, November 08, 2006

Courage
Ben Dean, Ph.D.

Defining Courage

"The secret of life is this: When you hear the sound of the cannons, walk toward them."~~Marcel France

Courage is a universally admired virtue, and courageous individuals in all cultures have survived across time to become the heroes of subsequent generations. But what is courage, and what is it not?

Philosophers have pondered these questions since antiquity. But psychologists, who had a significantly later start, have focused more on fear than on courage. The literature reflects this imbalance and contributes to the lack of consensus on a simple definition.


Persistence and Fear: Two Components of Courage?

Most philosophers and psychologists agree that courage involves persistence in danger or hardship. However, some argue that courage is synonymous with fearlessness, while others suggest that the presence or the absence of fear has nothing to do with courage.

Psychologist S. J. Rachman (1990) entered this debate with a definition of courage that takes into account three components of fear:

1) the subjective feeling of apprehension

2) the physiological reaction to fear (e.g., increased heart rate)

3) the behavioral response to fear (e.g., an effort to escape the fearful situation).

These components are imperfectly linked, and it is possible to experience one or two without another. The courageous person effects an uncoupling of fear's components by resisting the behavioral response and facing the fearful situation, despite the discomfort produced by subjective and/or physical reactions.

No Fear, No Courage

If a person is fearless, the behavioral component of fear is not at issue, for there is no reason to avoid or escape something that elicits no subjective or physical sensation of fear.

It seems unwarranted, therefore, to suggest that the fearless person is courageous. Such an assertion would make a virtue out of having an unresponsive autonomic nervous system in circumstances fearful to others.

Unless one experiences the sensation of fear, subjectively and/or physically, no courage is required.

As an astute observer of human behavior, Mark Twain, observed, "Courage is resilience to fear, mastery of fear, not absence of fear" (Fitzhenry, 1993, p. 110).

Different Types of Fear, Different Types of Courage
Whatever the circumstances testing courage, fear must be overcome.

The fear that accompanies physical courage relates to bodily injury or death. It is also possible for a fear of shame, opprobrium, or similar humiliations to spur physical courage, producing what is popularly called the "courage born of fear." In warfare, for example, some individuals may display physical courage because they fear cowardice. Or they may accept that they are cowards yet fear being recognized as such by others.

Moral courage, too, may relate to fear of others' adverse opinions. Looking foolish before peers, for example, is a common fear. But moral courage compels or allows an individual to do what he or she believes is right, despite fear of the consequences. (It should be noted that what is "right" is determined by the individual who chooses to take the risk, not by an observer.)

The fear that can summon moral courage takes many forms: fear of job loss, fear of poverty, fear of losing friends, fear of criticism, fear of ostracism, fear of embarrassment, fear of making enemies, fear of losing status, to name but a few potential human fears. In addition one may fear a loss of ethical integrity or even a loss of authenticity if he or she fails to act in accord with conscience (Putman, 1997).

As there are many variations of fear, there are many dimensions to moral courage, ranging from the social courage represented by Rosa Parks and Gandhi to the political courage represented, if infrequently, by elected officials. The opportunities to act with moral courage are numerous, and the fears calling for moral courage are as varied as individuals themselves.

Promoting Courage
Because courage is a universally admired virtue, most would also consider it an attribute to be promoted and fostered. Indeed, if any virtues are to be cultivated within a society, one might reasonably argue that courage should be foremost among them, for courage may be necessary to maintaining and exercising the other virtues. As C. S. Lewis observed, courage is "not simply one of the virtues, but the form of every virtue at the testing point" (Fitzhenry, 1993, p. 111).

Aristotle believed that an individual develops courage by doing courageous acts (Aristotle, trans. 1962), and there is current support for the suggestion that courage is a moral habit to be developed by practice (Cavanagh & Moberg, 1999). The view is compatible with Bandura's concept of self-efficacy in which successful performances (even vicarious ones) strengthen an expectation of further success (Bandura, 1977). Individuals are more likely to face a situation and attempt to cope with it if their previous experience gives them reason to believe they can meet the challenge.

Building Courage

If you or your clients would like to develop your courage, keep Aristotle in mind this week. Remember his view that we become courageous by being courageous! Design your own courage-building exercises by revisiting a life goal that is gathering dust. Is fear holding you back? How might you break down this goal into smaller steps, with each step requiring a progressively greater amount of courage?

There are no shortcuts, so run toward those cannons!

I hope you enjoyed this newsletter! See you in two weeks when we discuss the character strength Persistence.

Warmly,

Ben Dean

Copyright ©2006, The Trustees of the University of Pennsylvania. All Rights Reserved

Monday, November 06, 2006

Curious About Curiosity?
by Ben Dean, Ph.D.


Definition

· Curious people have an ongoing, intrinsic interest in both their inner experience and the world around them. Curious people tend to be attracted to new people, new things, and new experiences, and they are rarely bored.

· Everyone possesses curiosity to some degree. People differ according to the strength and breadth of their curiosity and their willingness to act on it. (How motivated are you by your curiosity? Are you curious in one domain or across many domains?)

Benefits of Curiosity

Curiosity benefits our social and romantic lives. Curious people are often considered good listeners and conversationalists. In the early stages of a relationship, we tend to talk about our interests or hobbies. One reason for this is that people tend to equate “having many interests” with “interesting,” and for good reason. Curious people tend to bring fun and novelty into relationships.

· Curiosity is associated with intelligence and problem-solving ability. Although researchers have not identified the precise pathway by which curiosity leads to cognitive growth, a likely explanation concerns the rich environment curious people create for themselves as they seek new experiences and explore new ideas. Put simply, curious brains are active brains, and active brains become smart brains.

· Curiosity is associated with high performance in both academic and work settings. There is evidence to suggest an upward spiraling relationship between curiosity and knowledge. The more we learn, the more we want to learn, and so on.

The Downside to Curiosity: When Curiosity Kills the Cat

· Curiosity in the absence of good judgment can lead to trouble. Do you recall Jessica Fletcher, the author/amateur sleuth from the television series Murder She Wrote? Without fail, toward the end of every episode, Jessica Fletcher’s curiosity led her to confront a dangerous criminal in a remote area. Unfortunately for us, the police don’t always rush in at the last minute in real life!

· When curiosity clashes with social norms, further trouble can ensue. Anyone with a small child needs no further elaboration on this point. Curiosity can motivate the youngster to ask questions such as, “Why don’t you have any children?” or “Is that man’s belly big because he’s pregnant?”

Building Curiosity

All things considered, the benefits of curiosity far outweigh the possible risks. Cultivating this strength can lead to both personal and professional rewards. So how might we go about developing this strength? One idea comes from the work by Mihalyi Csikszentmihalyi, one of the founders of the field of positive psychology and a pioneering researcher in the area of flow.

According to Cskikszentmihalyi, there is a direct relationship between our attentional resources and our interest in the world: Nothing is interesting to us unless we focus our attention on it. Rocks are not interesting until we begin collecting them, people in the mall are not interesting until we become curious about their lives and where they are going, and vacuum cleaners are not interesting until we need to buy a new one. According to Csikszentmihalyi, we can develop our curiosity (and fight boredom) by making a conscious effort to direct our attention to something in particular in our environment.

A Curiosity Challenge I leave you with the following Curiosity Challenge. Test Csikszentmihalyi’s theory in your own lives this week. During those times when you are feeling bored or unstimulated (e.g., while waiting in line at the grocery store), focus your attention on something that ordinarily might not engage your interest. For example, if you are at the grocery store, really notice how various customers interact with the checkout clerk. Are they making eye contact or averting their gaze? Do they make small talk? Do they offer to bag their own groceries? Notice how much effort you need to expend to focus your attention. Is it worth it? Is there a trade off between being bored (but with no demands placed on your psychic energy) and being interested?

I hope you enjoyed this newsletter! See you in two weeks when we discuss the character strength of Open-Mindedness.

Recommended Readings

Csikszentmihalyi, M. (1990). Flow: The psychology of optimal experience. New York: Harper Collins.

Lowenstein, G. (1994). The psychology of curiosity: A review and reinterpretation. Psychological Bulletin, 116, 75-98.

Peterson, C. and Seligman, M. E. P. (Eds.). Character strengths and virtues: A handbook and classification. New York: Oxford University Press

© 2004 Authentic Happiness Coaching. All rights reserved.
每日十五分鐘嘆一嘆
蕭碧銀
註冊臨床心理學家
電郵:joanne@pppower.org

在繁忙生活中,每日給自己十五分鐘,停一停,選擇做自己喜歡的事情,嘆一嘆,有意識地利用我們五官(眼、耳、口、鼻、皮膚)感受當下的事情,留心個人感覺,存感激的心,與其他人分享個人經驗,更可以令歡樂感覺提昇及持久,使生命有活力。


每日,睡眼惺忪地上班;回到公司,不停地工作,很忙,很忙;晚上,拖著疲累身軀回家,自家的竇已變成Home-office,將公司的工作帶回家,繼續搏鬥,準備文件交給上司,籌算如何應付月尾的quota,計算每月的保險、供樓供款,努力儲蓄,為未來退休生活作準備;跟著,作一陣Couch Potato,然後,上床睡覺,迎接明天的工作,為目前及未來的生活而奮鬥。

當我們為將來而努力時,我們可曾忽略了替自己充電,停下來,為自己預留每日十五分鐘時間,做一些事,嘆一嘆,享受一下。

『十五分鐘』不長不短,如果無所事事,十五分鐘都嫌長;但十五分鐘又不足以完成案頭的工作。相反,善用充電的十五分鐘,人的頭腦會清醒及靈活點,疏通疏通大腦腦閉塞。究竟如何善用那十五分鐘呢?

心理學家提出『享受歡樂』Savoring,提醒我們可以培養歡樂感覺,有意識地利用我們五官感受周圍環境及留心個人感覺,沈浸在當下的事情,存感激的心,有機會的話與其他人分享個人經驗;那樣,我們的歡樂感覺會被提昇及持久。

晚上,放工回家後,未開始工作/工作期間/臨睡前,抽出十五分鐘做一件自己喜歡的事,例如:聽音樂,嘆杯水。飲水時,細嘗水的清甜,流入口腔及喉嚨,咕一聲吞下去;鼻嗅著水的香;聽音樂時,手隨意地隨著音樂揮動,腳輕輕地踏地,嘴裡啍啍作歌,感受音樂如何挑動自己的情緒,整個人沈醉在音樂當中,進入另一個境界。

我們可不要忘記感激家人容許自己有一段安靜時間,不來騷擾自己,又感激朋友的好介紹。將個人歡樂的經驗與別人分享,更可以強化歡樂的感覺。享受過後,人的精神也抖擻起來,及喚醒自己辛苦工作背後有別人的支持。

我們坐言起行,計劃一下,今晚如何嘆十五分鐘?


(刊登於經濟日報健康版之都市秘笈27-9-04)
開心百寶箱
羅苑華 <註冊臨床心理學家> sonya@pppower.org

有沒有想過,為甚麽要開心?為甚麼希望追求各式各樣的正面情緒?
除了是片刻享受外,原來開心對我們的身心有長遠的正面影嚮

為甚麽想開心?
開心除了是一件令人享受的事情外,原來也有很重要的功能。
先由負面情緒說起;負面情緒也有它們獨持的功能;例如在生命受威脅、千釣一髮的時候,『驚』往往是起動器,促使我們盡快逃跑;憤怒的時候我們傾向攻擊,感到厭惡的時候我們傾向將厭惡的對象驅趕,在人類生存的某些處境中,這些負面情緒有助人類存活下來;要留意: 在負面情緒中我們的注意力和行為傾向往往收窄;試回想,在憤怒的時候我們可能什麼也聽不入耳,直至冷靜下來。
開心的正面情緒剛剛相反,無論是喜樂、滿足、自信等,在正面情緒中我們當下的思想範圍及行為的可能性往往變得擴闊;有利於我們建立各種資源,長遠來說,自我的各方面包括身體健康、社交、心理能力有更好的發展和儲備。

正面情緒怎樣擴闊我們當下思想行為?有關的心理學研究發現人們開心 (joy) 的時思考會變得更有彈性、更有創意,更能開放接受資訊,較喜歡有變化的行為反應和行動而不是『死咕咕』,在社交行為如是,在涉及智性和藝術創作的情況亦然;在感到興緻勃勃 (interest) 的時候,人們會作出較多探索,更留意和更多整合新的資訊,自我因而得到擴展。研究正面心理學的學者Fredrickson在一個實驗中首先透過不同的電影分別引發參與者的正面和負面情緒包括快樂、滿足、驚和憤怒,然後叫他們盡量列出自已會做的反應;發現感到快樂和滿足的人比在驚和憤怒中的人能羅列更多種類的反應。

Fredrickson又發現正面情緒能中和(undo) 壓力及負面情緒帶來的身心影嚮,例如在另一實驗中觀看引發正面情緒的電影的人,比起觀看引發傷感的電影的人,更快從受壓的身體反應(例如心跳加促)復元過來;長遠來說,經驗愈多的正面情緒,我們面對壓力和逆境的身心回彈力更強,成為我們的心理資本。

原來開心不單是片刻享受,開心可以變身為一個百寶箱,讓我們面對環境和挑戰時更有創意和彈性。故此,不妨給自己開心一下,讓身心得到擴展。
Be happy, and be broadened and built!

(刊登於經濟日報健康版之都市秘笈15.11.04)